The Epic Bagel Robbery
by yayforpie
Summary: LOL so many memes. So this is about some guy called Football who goes on an adventure to get a perfect bagel. My first story. Updates may come at random.
1. Intro

Don't Flame

Hey there everybody, I'm kinda new here and I signed up because I love to write, especially about _Internet Memes_. So this story here is called "The Great Bagel Robbery". I'm gonna tell you right now, if you hate randomness or Internet Memes, DON'T READ THIS FANFIC. Don't flame, but review.


	2. Chapter 1

So, there was once a guy named Football, who ate lots of pie. One day he was just walking down the street, when he saw a bagel in a display case for a store. This was the most epic bagel in the history of the world. Mama Luigi had gotten it for being an early bird. So Football decided that he wanted to buy this bagel, but it cost over 9000 dollars. What the potato?!

Football decided to go home and check how much money he had. He had exactly $8999. At that point, Football decided that he would have to steal it. At late night, he snuck up to the store. He shouted, "FALCAWNNN… PAWNCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The window shattered into a billion pieces. Football launched himself in Chuck Norris-style. There was the bagel, almost glowing golden. He was about to break the display case and get outta there, when some Wild Weegee guards appeared. The Pokémon battle began. The Wild Weegees all used Weegee Stare but it missed! Football used stone and doubled the attack power by shouting, "It's a football!" All the Weegees fainted! Before Football could make a move toward the bagel, Mama Luigi came out.

Mama Luigi didn't look pleased. He summoned the 7 Chaos Emeralds and his Yoshi. Mama Luigi transformed into **Mr. Super Duper Mama Luigi**. Yoshi transformed into **Battleship Yoshi**. MSDML and BY did a barrel roll and Football took 10 damage. BY shot 10 exploding missiles at Football. Football took 50 damage. Football was weakening. He found a life/save point and refilled his life. Football used LOLsword and MSDML and BY fainted. They made huge explosions that blasted Football out the ceiling. The last thing he saw was Mama Luigi and Yoshi getting out of the wreckage, unaffected, and a mysterious cave with a strange orange glow coming from it, and he was flying straight at it…

End of Chapter 1, please review!


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

(To clear it up, Football is a person not a football.)

When Football awoke, he had no idea where he was. It was very dark. His first thought was the final cave in Cave Story. But that was impossible and would probably break the laws of physics. Then he remembered the orange glow. Right now, he could see it, and it was super bright. He followed it until he found a creepy looking doll that strangely resembled Miles "Tails" Prower. Then he saw the red gem. Football is very greedy. After all, he is after a perfect bagel that is worth over 9000 dollars. Football grabbed for the red gem. When his index finger hit the gem, it started to glow and glow. It started to burn red hot, and Football withdrew his hand immediately. The "Tails Doll" started to rise into the air and his eyes opened. They were as red as his gem. Football started to back away slowly, but Tails Doll let out a shriek and charged at him.

Tails Doll hit Football and Football was blasted out of the cave through the ceiling. Some rubble started to fall. Then the whole cave fell. Football landed. He hoped that the rubble had destroyed the Tails Doll, but at that very moment, there was a huge explosion from where the mouth of the cave used to be. Tails Doll emerged, and shrieked, "sIlly MoRtaL! yOU ShoULd hAvE NEVEr Woken ME! NoW yOU Die! Tails Doll did a Super Tails Whip, which, in the process, broke a copyright law by SEGA 1999 (you see, this is because Tails first preformed this move in Sonic Adventure from 1999.) Anyway, Football took 12 damage from this. Football tried to use Hypnotizing Pie, but Tails Doll was unaffected.

Tails Doll was amazed that Football had survived both of his attacks. Usually just looking at the Tails Doll would kill someone of fright. He raised his hands, and several black emeralds started to surround him. Tails Doll started to grow and grow until he was about 10 times his normal size. Tails Doll let out a loud scream that clearly meant death.

Intermission

And now, for a brief story about two guys and a Wii U.

Guy 1: Hey, hey, hey guy.

Guy 2: Wat?

Guy 1: Why U No Get Wii U?

Guy 2: Why U no get Wii?

Guy 1: Wii sukky.

Guy 2: U SUKKY.

Guy 2: IMA FIREN' MAH LAZAR

Guy 1: ….

Guy 2: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(and that's why you should always respect the Wii)

And now back to our story.

O WAIT.

DIS IS END OF CHAPTER 2.

BAI BAI.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Tails Doll was now enormous and invincible. Football had no chance against him unless… all of a sudden, 7 small blurs started to surround Football. They were the Sol Emeralds, and they were about to save him. There was a flash of light and Football started to rise. He was now invincible as well, he was Hyper Football! He used Ember Blast and hit Tails Doll with a force that would defeat even Mewtwo. Tails Doll however, was unaffected. Football used SUPER FALCAWN PAWNCH but Tails Doll was unaffected by it too. Hyper Football then knew what to do.

He used Ember Control and landed on top of Tails Doll's gem. Football didn't want to see such precious gem go, but it had to be done. He used Ember Blast on the gem. Tails Doll let out a shriek and started to disappear. He then reappeared inside the cave, looking unaffected, normal again, and sleeping. A Nyan Cat appeared out of nowhere! Football jumped on him, and Nyan Cat started to rise…

Boy is this short


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

AN: REALLLY long wait because I became addicted to Minecraft. I've had it for a while (since Alpha) and I remember the days when I thought it was boring… well look at it now! Please review! And if you have an idea for this story, please tell me about it! I may even use it… :D

The Nyan Cat rose and rose, and soon, he was in space, with Football riding him! It's not really understandable how Football was breathing, but scientist agree that Football did not drop dead when they were in space, so the world (and Planet Minecraft) agrees that Football was breathing. Football enjoyment of the beauties of space was interrupted by an explosion. Then he realized the Nyan Cat had blown up, and now he was floating in space. And miraculously, he landed on a very cube-like planet. Then, he met a green moving object with four feet. It started to hiss. Football had a VERY bad feeling that this wouldn't turn out well. Then, BOOM, he was in the air, barely alive, and hurtling towards Earth. He was falling, and the ground was coming up VERY quickly. He landed, and nearly died. Now, if someone were to even touch him, he would be dead. He summoned up his Gem Control powers and somehow teleported to the nearest save/life point. He refilled his health, and teleported back. In hydroelectriceringotopada space, which he traveled through when teleporting, he a flaming sheep, a bag of dynamite, a purple mustache, an overlarge pencil, a bagel (he tried to grab it because he needed SOME kind of bagel, but he missed),a bucket of water, and a super awesome green flying fast shining buttery hungry firebreathing angry elephant (LOL). Then he landed. In the sky, a huge flying battleship was flying, shooting purple exploding potatoes at villages. Football knew this wasn't good, so he summoned his flying car, and flew to the ship. When he landed, he noticed it was HUGE. Cannons were shooting potatoes everywhere. He noticed the whole ship was made of metal. Then he saw Metal Koopas with bazookas running out to try and stop him. So, Football pulled out his diamond sword… wait that's enough Minecraft references for now, so we'll say it's a normal sword. Football pulled out his normal sword, and when a Koopa fired, he tried to hit the explosive bullet. Of course, the sword was pulled away from his grasp, and went flying with the bullet until it blew up, destroying the sword (Football FAIL). Then, CHUCK NORRIS appeared… Chuck Norris kicked all the shot bullets with his famous roundhouse kick, and they hit the Koopas instead. They all blew up, leaving the ship with major damage. Then, out came Mama Luigi and Metal Bowser, carrying a cage. In the cage was Mario, trapped by his evil brother and most hated enemy made metal. Mama Luigi pulled out multiple shurikens, and somehow threw them all at once at Football. Football jumped over them, and planted a kick on Mama Luigi. Mama Luigi yelled, then he ordered Metal Bowser to finish Football off. Mama Luigi pulled out the very magical bagel that Football had tried to steal, and used it to teleport. That left Football and Metal Bowser to battle, with a ship that was sinking slowly, but would eventually hit the ground and explode. Metal Bowser immediately charged, and punched Football so hard, that he could die if that happened again. He got up slowly and saw that Metal Bowser was sizzling with electricity. This would make his attacks twice as powerful. Then, Football remembered an object from hydroelectriceringotopada space that could help him. He knew if he tried to teleport away Metal Bowser would stop him, but if he stayed in the same area while in hydroelectriceringotopada space, Metal Bowser wouldn't be able to hurt him. So he focused his power, and he was in space. He grabbed the bucket of water he had seen earlier, and came back. In a flash, he threw the water at Metal Bowser. At first, nothing happened, then, BOOM, the ship blew up. Then Football was falling, falling, falling… Metal Bowser was obviously gone, Football thought, but what about Mario? He saw Metal Koopas crunching at the fast approaching ground. The he saw Mario. It seemed like the Tanooki Suit was helping him approach the ground slower. Of course, Football could not do this… In a split second he used Gem Control to teleport himself safely on the ground. Mario was waiting for him. Mario thanked Football for saving him, and Football thanked him for not being in ANOTHER CASTLE LOLZ. Mario gave Football a backpack with two invincibility stars, and ran off to save the princess from a castle, WHICH WOULD PROBABLY BE ANOTHER CASTLE AFTER THAT MARIO WOULD TO TRAVEL TO FIND HER OH JOY. Football then saw a figure float down from the sky. He looked sort of like Luigi, but creepier, taller, and had a stare that clearly could cause death. It was Weegee, the evil being that caused death and destruction…

To be continued in Chapter 5.

Still here?

Here's a little short story…

My name is Steve. I live in a world called Minecraftia. I, and the other users are under a constant threat known as Herobrine. He looks very much like all of us, but you can see the evilness in his white, blank eyes. So here is one of my encounters with him. I was traveling through a desert, hoping for a lot of wood supplies to extend my huge wooden mansion. I was busy punching trees when I noticed a large Jungle Temple. Now I have spotted about two Jungle Temples in my life, but this one was fifty times larger. I decided to go in. And I saw this was the ultimate trap. The minute I stepped in, I realized there was only one space to step in, and it had a pressure plate on it. The rest of it was a bedrock wall. Immediately the floor opened up, and I fell into a room with dispensers. Then a strange voice came through, and it was very creepy. "_Meddling players will not interrupt my plan to destroy the world. You will be the first to die by the hands of Lord Herobrine!" _I knew I was a goner. Sure enough, the dispensers started shooting fire charge. Unluckily, the whole room was made of unbreakable wool. Pretty soon, the flames engulfed me and I died. I write this story from *the Sky Dimension, sending a warning that Herobrine will find you…

AN: *Long time Minecraft fans may remember the Sky Dimension, a planned but scrapped dimension in Minecraft ( wiki/Sky_Dimension) Read and review guys!


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